Road Access for Disabled Americans

Humor We've Run Into on the Internet

• RV Having Fun Yet?, Ray Parker, 1997
  "Hard­won tips on motorhoming, such as, 'Never go over a speed bump without making sure there is no one in the commode.’ "

• Road Etiquette in Ireland
  "Next there were the new sort of speed bumps - the kind you can drive over at speed without the car chassis breaking in two. These were fine, because it also had the added effect of waking up sleeping drivers before entering a roundabout. The problem with these is that the slower you go, the more noisy (and noticeable) they are. In turn, drivers have learned to drive over them faster to prevent damage to their suspension system."

• Do as I say, not...
  • "Rudy Insists: Didn't Do It", New York Daily News, Virginia Breen, Maureen Fan and Bill Hutchinson, March 2, 1999
    "Like many a motorist who has been caught speeding, Mayor Giuliani tooled around New York yesterday in strict compliance with all traffic regulations never once going too fast and denying all."
  • Giuliani Bends Fenders With GM, New York Daily News, March 5, 1999
    "Mayor Giuliani railed against General Motors yesterday, calling the auto maker a liar for saying its GMC Suburban is a smooth ride at any speed."
  • [RADA NOTE: This becomes "funnier" if you have seen Giuliani's boast about NYC having "pioneered the use of speed humps".]

• John Callahan's website
  (If you're lucky, "Don't worry he wont get far on foot" - one of the best cartoons ever - will be somewhere on the site.)

• QUESTION - Could anything have been done to avoid the accident?
• ANSWER - - I could have travelled by train.
  • INSURANCE MALL Anecdotes (from the UK)

• How to Drive Like a Moron

• From those email messages that float around:
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

• The Netherlands, Lonely Planet, 1999
  "Although the Dutch have the cute habit of calling anything higher than a speed bump a mountain, the Netherlands is largely a flat and soggy bog."

• *AUSSIE PHRASES*
  "So slow he couldn't get a job as a speed hump"

• "This Week - Dimwits of the week", The Times, London, November 21, 1999
  "Police set up a road block on the M6 near Stafford after a report that five men dressed as fictional super-spy Austin Powers were threatening drivers with handguns. A Ford Escort containing five people dressed in velvet suits was stopped and officers confiscated a number of plastic toy guns. The car was on its way to a 1970s-style convention in Prestatyn, north Wales."

© Rada Project, 1998
June 17, 2000